I started this site when you were a baby, your sister's age. It was to chronicle your every developmental step. I was supposed to write about your first teeth, solid foods, steps, words. I thought I might take a lot of photographs of you and post them, maybe videos. As I revisit the archives, I realize I told only a small part of your story.
I should have written about those Saturdays when Mommy had to go to work and you insisted on wearing camouflage shorts like me , only you didn't own a pair and so flowers had to do...and they didn't "do" as you stole comparative glances of our bottom halves all day.
There was that time when Mommy went on a trip and it was just you and me for a week. You caught a cold, a fever but your demeanor was upbeat throughout. You knew I would break.
I should have told of how it feels when I leave for work, throwing a glance at the front door as I'm getting into my car and there you are in tears because you didn't get the chance to kiss me goodbye.
I told you tonight that I wanted you to stop growing and stay small so I could always carry you around and kiss you and you told me you would always kiss me even if you had to stand up.
Tomorrow you start kindergarten. At 7:45 we are going to walk up that steep hill we have walked up so many times before. I wonder what you will be thinking.
I will be thinking of your future, wondering how much things will change when you walk through that door and greet your new life, wondering if i have frittered away those days when I mattered.
Sarah, I love you more than I ever thought I could love. I am so proud of what you are.